"We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for."
{♥}
It was nights like this that Matt loved the most.
It was nights like this that made it possible for him to be alone in his room, no one else being present to disrupt his peace.The whole room was dark-- thickly painted with pitch black darkness and frozen with the eerie silence that came along with the night. Not even the round, silver moon, or the twinkling blue stars that often kept her company, were there to adorn that night's sky.
The only lone source of light that existed was the illuminating white glow of the portable game device that was placed between Matt's fiddling hands. The light bounced off the unfazed and unmoving features on his face, eyes squinted in hard determination. Several hours had flown by and Matt still hadn't budged from his seat since this late afternoon.
Previously, Mello had been screaming at him to let go of that damned thing and to get off his ass to do something more productive, but his threats and livid cries had fallen helplessly on deaf ears. It was like this every time; once Matt had gotten totally engrossed in a certain game, it was like he transformed into a lifeless zombie, eyes stuck onto the screen of his PSP like super glue, refusing to respond to anyone or anything.
Sometimes, Mello swore that even if the world were to come to an end, Matt would still be messing around that stupid piece of technology, hiding under a rock somewhere, amidst all the screaming and running city folk.
At long last, Mello finally lost the will to carry on ranting and had left the room, muttering a string of obscenities under his breath. Even when he retreated to his own room that was right next to Matt's, slamming the door so hard that it almost fell off its hinges with a violent tremble, Matt still didn't bat an eyelash.
In fact, he couldn't even recall the last time he had even blinked.
He fired missiles mercilessly at the boss monster that conquered the last level, wrecking cities as it screeched its horrible battle cry. The giant green beast gave one last fearsome roar before crumbling to the ground, destroyed at last.
Booms. Guns firing. Roaring. Fireworks.
Game over.
The two words flashed repeatedly in bold, red letters on the small screen Matt had been staring at for so long. With a single flick of the 'off' button, Matt stuffed his precious PSP back into the pockets of his jeans, a wide, satisfied grin surfacing on his face. He kicked back and stretched, muscles stiff and numb from the long hours of intense gaming.
Then, he sighed in content, leaning back into his chair.
Now that he had snapped out of his hypnotized state, he was feeling a tad bit tired. Yet, not tired enough to fall asleep, he decided. He cast a glance at the clock hanging on the wall and tried to make out in the dark where the hands were positioned. He wasn't sure exactly what time it was, but it was clear as the darkness was blinding that it was way past midnight.
His room seemed to be even quieter than before, now that the robotic sounds that emitted from his video game were absent. Matt sighed once again, this time suddenly feeling restless. He thought about maybe playing another game, but realized that he had just completed his newest one. All that was left were old ones that he had already mastered once or twice before. Those won't be quite as fun.
Then he thought about perhaps talking to someone. The first person that popped up in his mind was of course, his good friend, Mello, who he presumed had already gone to bed at this time of the night. He instantly tossed that idea out of the window. Waking Mello up just because he wanted to have a friendly chat wasn't such a good plan. Especially since he wasn't exactly a morning person. And he probably had his guns hidden somewhere under his bed or pillow.
What if Mello was dreaming about chocolate just when he got woken up?
Oh, no. Matt wasn't stupid enough to jump into his own suicide, restless or not.
He groaned inwardly as he peered outside his window. Even the streets were empty, not even a single vehicle cruising by the hideout.
Being the only one awake in the world certainly sucked.
The foreign uneasiness in his stomach soon slowly evolved to a gaping black hole of pure boredom. He felt this way a few times before, although he didn't quite place his finger on what to call it. He was sure he didn't like it one bit. Matt hopped off his seat and started to pace about the room, as if that would cure his agitation. He lifted his goggles off his eyes and shifted them over to his forehead instead as he frowned unpleasantly.
This was killing him! Surely there was something he could do?
Someone to talk to...? Who else would be awake this late at night?
Was there really no one..?
Matt paced a few more times back and forth the room until a sudden light bulb flickered and went off in his head. His lips cracked into an inspired smile and he dove for the cellphone that he had neglected and left on the bed. His thumbs pushed against the numbers almost hastily, with only one objective in mind.
This seemed to be the perfect time to ring her up.
Waiting anxiously for the person to pick up his call, he pressed his phone to his ear, listening to the rhythmic ringing looping over and over again on the other side.
Ring.... Ring....
Each ring seemed to get longer and longer.
Ring.... Ring....
Come on, pick up! Matt urged in his head after the seventh ring.
Ring.... Ring...
He grinned when he eventually heard the receiver picking up on the opposite end of the line.
"Hello?" a monotonous female voice spoke.
"Hey." Matt replied calmly, trying to hide the over-excited grin in his voice.
"...What do you want?" The female asked coldly, after recognizing Matt's voice.
Matt's grin only expanded when he listened to that familiar forlorn tone that he hadn't heard in a while.
"Hey, yeah, listen..." He started off, falling backwards onto his bed. He tried to blow his reddish-brown bangs out of his eyes before lazily sweeping them aside with his hand. "Could you meet me at West-Wood Park? Like, right now?"
"For what purpose."
It sounded like a brush-off rather than a question.
"Please?" Matt pleaded with the most persuading voice he could muster. "It's important." He strained hopefully.
There was a reluctant pause and the gamer waited, itching for a positive response. He mentally pumped his fist in the air in triumph when he heard her mumble a soft, but audible "Fine."
"Seeya in a few minutes, then!" He chirped, flipping his phone shut before she had a chance to change her mind. He got off his bed and grabbed the vest that was hanging on the head of his swivel chair, slipping it on as he made his way out the door. He was starting to feel better already.
{♥}
783, 784, 785...
Matt stood underneath a big, leafy willow tree, waiting. He had reached the park speedily, with the help of his trusty motorcycle. The streets were empty and nothing was there to delay the relatively short journey to the park.
786, 787, 788....
Unconsciously, he found himself counting the seconds that had passed by since he had first stepped under the wide umbrella of leaves hanging above his head. The park was deserted and not a single soul was in sight, the only exception maybe being that owl hooting hauntingly somewhere in the distance.
A shiver ran down his spin as the chilly wind screamed in his ears and blew past his silhouette. His frigid fingertips found their way to the sides of his arms, where he tried to rub up and down, attempting to create some kind of friction that could hopefully turn into warmth. He cussed himself mentally for not having the intelligence to bring something warmer other than a sleeveless vest along.
The wind continued to howl and the leaves and branches on the willow tree rustled and swayed, causing a few loose leaves to flutter gracefully to the ground.
"Damn, what's taking her so long?" Matt grumbled downheartedly, his hands still clutched onto his arms.
In reality, it wasn't really a long wait. However, the cold which was numbing his skin made it seem like he had been waiting for hours on end.
Had he been ditched? He asked himself, crestfallen and worried at the thought. Perhaps it was a stupid idea to call someone up in the dead of night to meet them up at the park... But, still! He flipped open his cellphone and stared at it irritably with furrowed eyebrows. She could have at least called or sent him a text message or something!
He found that vexing emotion in his stomach beginning to relapse again. What was this feeling, anyway? Disappointment? Somehow he felt a mixture of bitterness and spite even though he wasn't really angry at her. He grunted and pressed his back against the thick tree trunk for support.
Annoyance; that was what the feeling was.
He was feeling incredibly annoyed. Not at her. But for some reason that seemed so blurred and unrecognizable to him.
He should just turn back and go home now.
It wasn't worth waiting here all night and catching a cold for nobody, right?
He glanced upwards, half-expecting to see a figure approaching him.
No one.
The inside feelings pulled and tugged heavily like an anchor that was sinking underwater.
For a moment, Matt considered leaving and returning back to the hideout. He should go. He really should. He could already feel his nose turning stuffy. Plus, it wasn't like he was that desperate to see her face.
His stomach almost instantly clenched in protest.
Lies.
Okay, maybe he was lying to himself a bit... or a whole lot... but whatever. That depressing feeling in his stomach was really starting to get on his last nerve. He let out a breath of air and swore he could see it turning misty.
Alright. Five more minutes. Five more minutes and then he'll give up and go, he agreed in his head and stared out in front, trying to be patient.
Barely twenty seconds passed before a real figure showed up in the distance, walking briskly towards his direction. Matt's eyes lighted up when he spotted the dark figure and couldn't help but smile when he caught sight of familiar long, black hair whipping wildly around a rather distressed face. She looked like she walked through a storm - which, was what was very close to what she was currently doing - and was definitely not thrilled about it.
He waved a hand sheepishly in greeting as she finally reached close enough for him to get a clear view of the displeased scowl she wore.
"Yo."
"Yo, my foot." the black-haired girl hissed, obviously pissed. Matt felt his own previous irritation suddenly vanishing into thin air once he saw how annoyed she was. He felt so much better - and truthfully relieved - knowing that she didn't ditch him after all.
A goofy smile sprouted on his face and he chuckled.
"Laughing?" The girl raised an eyebrow skeptically at his strange reaction. She glared at him. "Has the cold gone to your head?" She taunted, brushing the locks of hair that had gotten into her face behind her ear. The skin on her face was porcelain-pale, like always, and went well with her dark hair and even darker eyes. Her cheeks had a rosy tint caused by the cold, and it looked like she had on blusher. That was new. She didn't like make-up.
She's pretty, Matt thought fondly, admiring the face in front of him, feeling comfortably dazed.
"It's freezing." She grumbled in a low voice, pulling her coat closer to her body, oblivious that Matt was taking in every detail of her face like it was some kind of masterpiece. She was clearly much more annoyed than he had been minutes ago. "How long have you been waiting? You crazy fool."
"Nice to see you too, Hope." Matt replied sarcastically, still holding that smile. "Not long." He said, scratching his head before letting out a huge sneeze right into her face.
"AH-CHOO!"
".... Not long, huh." Hope growled, trying to keep calm, wiping his disgusting germs off herself with the sleeve of her coat.
Matt continued to smile innocently, rubbing his nose.
"Hm." Her provoked exterior soon faded into her usual one, her features becoming relaxed and composed. She leaned onto the tree trunk too, beside Matt and stared upward to the ceiling of dark green leaves on top of them. They stood, wrapped in momentary silence, just observing the leaves dancing and shaking with every gust of wind that whistled past.
"So," Hope begun, her voice sounding impassive, "What was so important that you had to call me over to meet you for?"
"I couldn't sleep." Matt said truthfully, pulling his goggles over his eyes. Hope turned her head and stared up at him in disbelief, wondering if he was joking around or being serious.
".... So, you couldn't sleep and called me up at the ungodly hour of 4 in the morning to keep you company?" She asked slowly, and watched as he simply nodded. She shot him a heated glare, mouth pressed into a deadly straight line as he snickered in amusement at her reaction. He didn't seem to be affected even though it looked as if she was ready to chop off his head at any given moment.
"I would kick your face and break those goggles of yours right about now..." she threatened, still hammering him with a glare. "But unfortunately my legs feel like they've been stuck in a freezer and I don't think I can reach that high at the moment." Hope finished, granting the permission for Matt to smirked to himself as she started kicking a pebble that was on the ground as a substitute for his face.
"What? Don't tell me you havn't been dying to see this pretty face?" He teased playfully, pointing to what he considered a charming smile.
"Let's see how 'pretty' that face will still be when I attach my foot to it."
"Ouch." The goggle-head grimaced in mock hurt at the harsh comeback. "So, you don't miss me after all?"
"You interrupted me when I was in the middle of my meeting."
She didn't sound like she was accusing, but there was a exasperation evident in her voice.
"You had a meeting at 4 in the morning?" Matt asked, relatively surprised. He stared at her for a while before she sighed deeply in reply.
"About the Kira case." She mumbled, glancing down briefly at her watch. "It should be over right about now."
"Oh."
All of a sudden, Matt started to feel pretty bad about making her rush all the way to the park in the middle of the night for his own selfish reasons. From the sound of it, the meeting seemed to have been pretty important, too.
Well, don't blame me, blame this damned emotion I keep feeling in my stomach.
Hope shrugged, running her fingers through her hair, which had been reduced to an unkempt state because of the wind.
"What's done is done." She said, nonchalantly, her face showing no signs of emotions. "No use crying over split milk, I suppose."
Matt frowned and opened his mouth to say something when he was cut off by a loud rumble of thunder. That was the first time he noticed that the black skies were filled with noticeable gray storm clouds. He blinked as the first drop of rain plopped down onto his nose, followed by several more, introducing the start of an endless drizzle. The drizzle started to get heavier and heavier, and thunder was getting louder with every roar.
"Shoot."
A lightning bolt slashed across the sky and Hope grabbed onto Matt's vest impulsively, dragging the boy out from beneath the tree. Matt gave a small, surprised yelp before struggling to keep his balance in between running and looking. He let her guide him down the lane, staring down the back of her head.
"Where are we going?" Matt yelled from above the vicious roars of thunder. Hope was yanking him around by his vest, eyes darting about for any potential shelter. She spotted a small triangle-shaped straw hut just a few metres in front and proceeded to man-handle poor Matt towards it. Their frantic footsteps made big splashes across the small puddles that were soon forming on the ground.
"Somewhere safe!"
{♥}
"First I missed half of my meeting, and now this."
Another clash of thunder boomed once more and Hope cringed. She could feel herself crawling out of her skin. The straw hut that they were currently using as shelter offered no walls, but easily kept the rain from pelting down onto their heads.
That didn't stop the freezing wind from pitilessly blasting at them.
"Brilliant. I think it just dropped a couple more of degrees."
"I'm not exactly pleased about the rain, either." Matt defended, not sparing even a glance at her direction. He had his sights occupied on the PSP he had withdrew from his pocket. He didn't even notice the disapproving gaze Hope bestowed onto him.
"You called me all the way here just to watch you play games?" she asked coldly.
When Matt provided no answer, she got off her seat and onto her feet.
"Hey, are you listening? At least talk to me. Matt?"
She walked closer and pressed further for a response. Her shadow loomed over him, but he just sat and carried on, unaffected.
"Mmmhm."
At that very moment, the PSP's batteries just decided to die. It wasn't that surprising, since the last time he had charged it had been two days ago.
"Great." he wheezed unhappily, slipping the device back into his pocket.
Well, if he couldn't game, at least he could smoke.
He reached for a cigarette inside his pants to calm his nerves and placed it in between his lips, Hope observing him carefully all the while. He lighted it and took a long drag, blowing out dusty white smoke into the air.
"Matt." Hope called out his name in an emotionless murmur.
"H-hey!" the gamer stuttered as the cigarette was abruptly snatched away from his mouth. He stared at Hope helplessly in question as she dropped the burning stick onto the ground. She stomped onto the cigarette with her large combat boot and the small flame went out with a loud fizzle as she rubbed it against the dirt.
She turned back to stare hard straight into confused green eyes. Matt thought that his heart was finally going to leap out of his chest from beating too fast when she spoke to him in a forceful vent. Widened green eyes locked with blank black ones like the two opposite ends of a magnet.
"Talk to me." She demanded.
And Matt couldn't feel happier to oblige.
{♥}
Countless Wishes To Be With You.
12:00 AM